Friday, January 29, 2010
Secured or Not Secured?! @ 8:46 PM
this has been bothering me for a long time.i thought i could left it behind and moved on.i though i could and i thought i did. rather in a way that i'm not satisfied.so just now i actually approached and talked to the person.i was really helpless, freaked out.i have decided to say it so plucked up my courage and told the person.(actually i have no idea why i want to tell the person out of the sudden..)yes, i have said it.i think i shd feel more relieved and happy after saying that but in fact, i'm not.i didn't know why. even i, myself, don't know the reason why i feel this way.i'm felt really irritated, upset and angry at myself.Am i feeling regretful right now? Do i?well, i guess i'm the only one who could walk out of this situation, telling myself that it's over right now. don't bother about it anymore, it's all in the past, it's over now.no point feeling regretful, not point hurting myself, no point making myself miserable.although you said 'sumba' not to ignore me but i just don't feel secured.i'm feeling sad actually. walking home with wz and val, i just not like myself.though i was talking to them but there were many thoughts whirling in my head.i'm feeling so frustrated. mood was currently down. what's wrong with me?Hasn't been feeling this way for a long time. everytime when i want to start afresh, there's always a blockade.qurrels in between, some misunderstanding and all sorts of nonsense.guess we are fated to be like this. remain status quo.so whatever it is, i'm not going to say about this again, not going to be bothered.I will just move on and start afresh. a brand new ME!!I Promise.(this may take some time for me to adjust but i will do my best.. )Anyway, i'm not sure if you are seeing this post but i'm gonna tell you that i'll put everything behind. reassured that we are still good friends. so you must also keep your promise, like what you say 'you will never break it'. And i hated (probably disliked) ppl who don't reply messages. what's the point of owning a handphone then. yah, i do understand if you have reasons for not replying but at least let the other party knows about it.Don't think that i have actually get used to it. The answer is NO, i'm not!well, anyway...more or less what i want to say or vent frustrations here...Hope things get better....
